A Grandma's Struggle

Tonight this grandma went to watch her 13 year old grandson wrestle for the first time....
Oh my goodness,…I was a nervous wreck! As I sat there waiting for his match to come up I kept remembering him as a baby, and how he and his mom and dad lived with us for the whole first year of his life so that they could save up to buy a house.

I remembered walking the floor with him when he had colic in the middle of the night and I would get up to relieve his mommy for awhile. He would cry and cry and cry until he was so exhausted that he would eventually fall asleep, but in the meantime we walked the floor with him, and tried everything we could think of to make him feel better. We even sat him in his infant seat on top of the clothes dryer and turned it on for the noise , warmth, and vibration to try to soothe him. (We were desperate, and someone had suggested doing that) It helped for awhile, but not for long. But eventually he got over the colic and we moved on to more pleasant stages with “our” little guy.

Everyday was a new adventure and we became very attached to sweet William. My husband John and I got to experience each “first” as they came along. First smile, first time he cooed, first time to roll over, first time to sit up on his own, first time he said da-da and ma-ma etc. etc. It was such a joy to be so close to him, and to get in all of my grandma cuddles and kisses.

Well anyone that knows me, knows how soft hearted I am when it comes to my kids and grandkids. I have 11 grandkids and I can’t stand it when they are sick or hurt, or unhappy. I always want to kiss their boo-boo’s and make things better. I am always telling them to,... "be careful"!!! I know that most grandmas are cautious and careful with their grandkids,…but I am borderline ridiculous! (:>)

Well, there I sat watching my 165 pound grandson being picked up and slammed to the floor by another wrestler,…and it was almost more than I could take. I wanted to stand up and say,…“Leave my baby alone you big bully!” I kept telling my husband,… “I can’t stand this”, and he kept laughing at me. Didn’t he share my pain? Didn’t he love “our” baby boy as much as I did? Well I think I realized at that moment that there is this thing with men,….they like seeing the right of passage when a boy is becoming a man.

Maybe some moms and grandmas like this transformation too,…but I decided that I am not one of them. I mean I’m all for maturity, and watching boys grow up,…but I just had the hardest time watching this brutality! (:>) One boy got a bloody nose, and another had a bad leg cramp and he laid on the mat making faces because he was in pain as they tried to work out the cramp. and then my William was limping away,...looking so defeated. My heart was breaking for him.

You see, I never had boys in sports before, because I had three girls. I watched my girlies cheer at games but never had to worry much about injuries, unless a stunt involved lifts. I just wasn’t prepared tonight when I saw “my” baby boy out there being man handled like he was.

Aren’t I silly? I never imagined I would feel this way. Maybe the next time it will be easier for me? I don’t know. But I am seriously going to try to let my 165 pound "baby boy "grow up,…..no really, I’m serious,.....I am! (:>)

I think I can,... I think I can,... I think I can! It's either that,...or stay home and not attend the matches!

Be Still And Know That I Am God

Be Still And Know That I Am God!


In the stillness of the moment, I hear my Master speak my name
I want to feel His Holy presence,…His voice is like a sweet refrain
He bids me come,…I kneel before Him
Waiting,… yielding,… quiet,…still
Then silently with gentle prompting I surrender to His will

He comforts me with words of wisdom, I drink them in with hunger deep
They quench the pangs of deep desire as I sit at His dear feet
In these moments of surrender, I feel strengthened in my soul
I give Him praise,…He gives me courage
Every care on Him I roll

What blessed peace He freely offers, in those tranquil moments sweet
There is no better place to worship, than before the mercy seat
Be still and know that I am God,…. He whispers sweetly in my ear
And in that statement I find hope,… and there is victory over fear

Won’t you join Him in the throne room? Where He sits with arms stretched wide
In the stillness you will feel Him,…beckon you to come inside
Drawing you with endless mercies, calling you with boundless grace
Allowing you to sit before Him, and gaze into His loving face

There’s no greater gift to give you,…there’s no better place to be
Than in the Master’s Holy presence, as He says,…“I’ve set you free”….
Free from guilt, and sin, and bondage,….Free to rest and just be still
And in that stillness of the moment,…let Him bathe you in His will!